Tuesday, April 1, 2008

It's just that age

Seems that just about all of my friends from younger years (high school) are either getting married, already married, and/or having children. And I keep getting told that it's just that age.

But I'm that age too and I'm neither ready to have children nor get married.

So it's not just that age. I have been meeting lots of peoples since I've moved to Raleigh that are within my age group that are still single. (Quite obvious since I go to a Single's ward and that's the only place I meet people.)And slowly people here and there are getting married. I'm so happy for them, but it's so weird.

Just about everyone I was friends with in high school are married. 3 of the guys are getting married this year. Some of them are pregnant (married, luckily). And others already have children. It seems so strange. I cannot picture my friends with children of their own. I guess it's because we used to just play and have fun and good off, like any high school kids. But now they are married, with families - or families soon on the way. It's just odd.

I've recently come to terms that I'm not against getting married. Some think that means I want to get married. That is just absolutely NOT true. I am perfectly happy with my life. I have friends, family, fun times. I have the freedom to do as I want. I have companionship, but not relationships or someone that I am 'stuck' with.

I don't know that I want a relationship just yet. They always seem to change things. I know that I would be with someone that is friends with people and enjoys spending time with my friends as I would enjoy spending time with his, but I also know that he and I would not alienate ourselves as some couples tend to do. We would be just as social and fun as we are now. I know we would definitely want some alone time, but I also know that we would be okay having other people around often. That's the kind of person I am, social, and I know I would be with someone who is also like that.

I think I have things to change before I get involved with someone. I need to be more confident in decision-making. I know I talk to people and they say it's not hard to make decisions, but for me it really is. One of my biggest fears is making the wrong decision. I will be working on making more decisions, little or big, so that I can be sure I make the right decision when the time comes to make important decisions that will affect my life.
I also need to be more confident in myself. I don't take compliments very well. I know there are things I want to be different and if I work on it and change those things, then I will be much happier and so much more confident. And if I'm confident about who/what I am, then I will also be less jealous of other women and less uncertain about things (feelings) that are said to me.

Aw.... The whole point of this post was just to say that I am at the supposed age of marriage and babies. But I think I'm going to skip that phase of this age and just enjoy life.

To paraphrase something someone said to me the other nite:
If you look at your lifespan, say it's 90 yrs and think about what you do... If you get married when you are 30 - that's only 1/3 of your life that you are single and able to do what you want. Which even that's not true because you were under parental rule for a large chunk of that time as well. Not including any relationships you were in before the marriage. It would be nice to be married because you know you'll always have that someone there. Someone to have dinner with, to go to a movie with, to travel the out of the country with, or to just sit at home. But that's a long time to be together....

I guess you'd really have to know that you are in love with that person before you decide to marry them, 60 yrs is a long time....


ReL said...

You always talk about the things you need to change... I think you should stop stating that and just DO them :-)
Also, you're def. not alone in thinking it's weird to see people you grew up with having kids and being married.. I feel the EXACT same. I vote we party it up as much as we can the rest of this year and not even think about how many singles are dropping like flies!

Ader Family said...

Some things take time and aren't noticeable - but are being changed....