Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Advice that goes with everything

I was talking to some friends the other nite - and they were giving me advice. They said it's the only thing they could suggest and it may not be something I'd want to hear. But the funny thing is - I would've said the same thing if someone had been talking to me about it.
Sometimes the only advice that can be given is something you already know, but need to hear it from someone else. And sometimes it's not the things you want to hear, but need to hear it anyway.
Honestly - this advice could be used for any and almost all things in life. Whether it's deciding the job, where to live, who to marry, what to do - all you need to remember to do is:

Read scriptures
Get a blessing

And then eventually you should get an answer. Or something.

Another amazingly good suggestion is to have a pros and cons list, qualifications list, wants vs needs list or any other list that compares the things you are conflicted about.
So right now I need to work on my pros/cons list. I have a qualification list, that will only get longer. But for the current dilemma, it's definitely a pros and cons needed kind of list.
The hardest part about it is staying unbiased and realistic. I tend to bring in the silly things that aren't needed or are unnecessary when I'm writing pros and cons. I need to remember the important stuff - the stuff that truly matters.
And I'm off to list and compare my life away...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Water is Life

For some reason there's something about the waves, the sand, the sun, and the smell of that island sunscreen that just makes me happy. It makes me smile and relax.

I have always wanted to live on the beach. I love that I live close enough to take a day trip. I wouldn't mind living closer, but it tends to get pricey on living situations.

This weekend I also realized that I enjoy lakes as well. I wasn't at a lake, but I thought about times I was. I like being able to swim, dive, and be in the calm water playing around. Lakes usually have trees and other pretty surroundings. It's easier to swim and dive in a lake.

But oceans are exciting. They have more to offer, you always have to be ready for the next wave, and it's beautiful!

The question is: Do I live near the beach, or near the lakes? Which one do I like more?
(I really need to try smiling more in pictures.)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

One Week Ago

Sometimes weeks go by without much changing or happening. Then there are those weeks that seem as though they'll never end. And there are other weeks that seem like 2-3 weeks in one.

This picture was taken exactly one week ago tonite.

This has been one of those weeks.
Part of it was because of the weekend and all the craziness that went on.
Part of it was because of this week and all the craziness that went on.
And part of it is just because you never know what's going to happen.

Expect the worse is a good thing to live by - then when the worst doesn't happen, you are that much happier about things.
Things are going to change. It's inevitable. But I like to be in control of that change. When I'm not, I tend to lose control of everything.
First one things changes - and I can handle that.
Then another thing changes - okay...
Then things change that are much more drastic and much closer to home - now what do I do?
I can't just hold my breath and hope for it to go away. I can't just forget about it and it will have never happened. I can't just smile and make it disappear. I have to face it, deal with it, and figure out a solution.
Along with a solution comes some decision making I must do.... Man!!
And to think that last week I didn't quite have this kind of solution/decision to deal with - can we go back to last week??

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Color Green

I have recently decided that I really like the color green. It's the color of many things - and it's a great color.
For instance - I was driving the other day and realized that all the trees and grass were becoming a beautiful green again. And not the same color green, but a variety of greens that all blended so nicely together.
Or how about the color of eyes. I have seen some amazing green eyes. Some have a little bit of blue - but the green is just so pretty.
There's green in candy, money, dirty water, clothes, jewels, etc. And although there are very many shades of green, I like them. I don't like some of them as much as others (not a huge fan of sage, unless with a pretty accent color).
I don't like to choose favorites of anything - I would end up changing my mind anyway. But I would have to say that green is one of the more liked than other colors.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


I want to be reckless.
Rash, heedless, incautious, negligent, imprudent.

I want to just take off and not think about it.
I would love to just quit, take some time off, visit friends, play with my family, and then find another job.
I want to just do something on a whim instead of thinking, analyzing, and over-thinking it again.
I want to make a decision that will change everything about my life - but not be so overly worried about whether it's good or bad.

I want to just do whatever comes to mind. Do whatever I feel like doing. Go wherever I feel like going.
Why does money have to be a factor in it? I know people that don't even think about it. They just live life and even though they are broke, they don't think about that and still do whatever/whenever they want. How can they? I don't have much debt - car, recent wisdom teeth removal, and that's pretty much it. So what am I so worried about?? I guess I just don't want to get in over my head....

Although sometimes it would be SO nice to not even think about it and just act, do, play and live with a bit of irrational, reckless behavior.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You know you have a boring job when . . .

You blog at least one post per day (sometimes more).
You are logged onto facebook all day, hoping someone fun will get online to talk to.
You check and re-check your e-mail, hoping for something.
You go through blogs of every person you know, looking for an update.
You search random pictures online to put on your post.
You text stupid conversations, just to have someone to talk to.
You are almost counting the minutes until your day is over.
You almost start talking to yourself.
You think up choreography to the songs you listen to.
You don't really have anything to do, so you re-organize everything - again.
You dream of anything, everything else to do besides sit at your desk.
You relook at all your pictures online.
You look at apartments in major cities - just for the heck of it.
You wander around outside for a bit, only to come back in and still have nothing to do.

My job used to be busy and exciting. What happened? Oh - that's right, the Economy apparently sucks right now. BLAH!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

NOT a big deal

Even the smallest decisions I have a tough time making. And I know it won't matter in the long run. And I know it's not a big deal at all.
Yet I still feel like my head is going to explode trying to decide.

Do I go, or not?
Will it be worth it?
I have other things to do with my time, do I do those, or this?
Will it be appreciated?
Does it matter if it's appreciated?
Do I want to do that, or the other thing?
Do I want to go there, or there?
What about while there?
What if it's not worth it?
What if it doesn't work out?

What the . . . . !!?!?? Who cares. Just do whatever.... But what of the "whatever" do I choose? Omigosh.... Can someone please just make my decisions for me?? I try, but for some reason just can't do it... And then when I hint to other people to make a decision, they just don't help me out!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Generous Donation

As you can see in the picture to the right - I had long hair.
Yes - had - meaning the past tense version of possession.
My hair was long, brunette, with a little bit of caramel highlights. It was easy, fun, and the longest it's been in years. It was thick, heavy, and there was definitely a lot of it.
I've always had fairly thick hair and even when it's short - there's a lot of it. But I love my hair. I usually always do.
This past weekend I went home. And usually when I'm home I get my hair colored. I just wanted some more highlights, more blondes in it. But for some reason - this time just didn't work out quite so well. There was highlights, but the blonde only worked really well on my roots - whereas the rest was more copper/gold color. Not really what I was looking for.
And on top of that, my hair felt so nappy and gross on the bottom 2-3 inches. I know it was really because I had just finished coloring it. But I decided to get it cut anyway. More of a trim really.
I looked up some idea, past hair cuts of my own, etc. We went to the hair cutting place (I don't go expensive) and looked at more ideas. I decided I wanted something shoulder length with layers. I sat down in the chair and the girl started talking about how long it was. And that really if we cut another inch off the length, it would be long enough to donate. And then we'd have to cut a little bit more off to make it all look good.
I thought - shoot! Only another inch? Okay - sure.
I'm still wondering if that was a mistake.
My hair is gone. My hair is blond-ish (which is fine). My hair is SHORT. I miss it.... And I wonder what possessed me to do such a thing.
Yes - it's just hair. But I was really liking my hair that long. And oh - it was long. Sad day....
But I guess I do have to admit that I am grateful to have hair and to have the ability to grow my hair out again. So - with that said, BRING ON THE VITAMINS! (They help hair grow faster, right!?!?)
(Clarification: I've had my hair this short before - it's just that the layers are a bit - maybe a lot - too short. If the back layers were longer, then I think it would not be so bad.)

Friday, May 8, 2009

Better Surveillance

I'm not sure if you can tell, but this sign says:
"WARNING - This area under 24-hour surveillance.
Vandalism/Graffiti is against the law
Violators subject to imprisonment"

Not sure if you noticed, but the ENTIRE brick wall behind it is covered in Graffiti. Either some people are really sneaky, or the 24-hr surveillance needs to be better.
This was taken at the Lover's Leap Wayside in Virginia along 58. I pass it everytime I go from Danville to Knoxville.
Really - who cares if people spraypaint the wall? Just don't let them litter and destroy the nature part of it all.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


I've decided that there are some country songs that have a point and purpose to them - a message perhaps.

Garth Brooks has a song called 'Face-to-Face' that I've always liked, but I don't really know why. And while listening to it yesterday I decided that it's all about coming face to face with your demons, the things you are afraid of, the things that make you want to run away in fear. But you can't run or hide from them - you have to face them.
And well.... as we all know - I definitely have some fears. I have things that I need to face head on. But I don't even know where to begin. It's all about decisions and making them... and I just have the hardest time with it. Right now I'm debating a few different options in my life - anyone one of which could be wrong, but they'd all bring about a drastic change. And I really need to just suck it up and make a freakin' decision. Face that fear. Tell myself that "I can grab a bull's balls" (watch 'Never Been Kissed' and you'll understand).

There's another song that I've always liked called "Suds in the Bucket" by Sarah Evans.
This song really just makes me want to drop everything and disappear. Write a note that says "Sorry, but I've got to go." It just gives me the desire to 'just up and run' and run away with life - I'd run away with a guy, if I had the option... ha!

Dove Promise of the day: The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

2 years

I have lived in Raleigh, North Carolina for two years as of this week. I believe it was actually today - May 7th - that I officially started moving into my first apartment. And as much as things have changed and the times I have moved - it doesn't feel like it's been two years.... TWO YEARS!


In the past two years I have:

Lived in apt 272, 306, and A.
Been to Utah/Idaho at least 3 times.
I've been to a Wrangler Guest Ranch in Colorado (first time to Colorado).
I have been to King's Dominion about 2-3 times.
I have been white water rafting.
Colored my hair multiple times!
I have gone to the beach a few (ok - a lot of) times.
I have gone through 2 or 3 digital cameras.
I went on a weekend snowboarding trip.
I had my car break down and I was stuck in a city overnite.
I went to my first real concert - even if it was only on the lawn for Toby Keith.
I went to DC - a couple times.
I had a dog for about two weeks.
I went to Disneyworld - TWICE.
I have lived by myself, with a stranger, and with best friends.
I have bowled more times in 6 months than I have my whole life - I even had a 'bowling shirt' I would wear.
I have probably had more slumber parties than I did when I was a kid.
I drove across the country - spontaneously - with friends.
I have been places and done things I've never done before.
I saw friends marry, have babies, etc.
I have met so, so many new people - some of which have changed my life quite drastically.
I have grown up, changed, and had a lot of fun.

I have had a lot of first times for a lot of things. I have done some crazy things, had crazy adventures, but have had the time of my life!! I wish it could always be exciting, adventurous and wonderful. And sometimes I forget all the fun I've had, until I look back over the year and realize - it's been pretty busy. I need to make this year even better....
There's so many things that have happened and things I have done the past two years, but it just seems like it will never be enough. And I suppose that's okay... I'll always want to do and experience more - and that's what it's all about.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Camera Ready

I almost always have my camera with me, but not necessarily in hand.
But I think I should always have it available and handy while I'm driving. Not only would I have been able to capture a picture of the stow-away, but I would've also got the deer on camera that crossed the road in front of me this morning. It was really nice.

But having my camera with me at all times allowed me to take a picture of the view out my office window yesterday.... Yes there are bars on the window - but we work in the ghetto. Ha-ha.

Looked like we were underwater there was so much rain pouring down.
I love storms. I love rain. I really love warm rain. I want to play it in more often. But lately it's been a bit chilly.
I did however go to the driving range last Friday - and it rained. We kept getting under shelter, until we were wet and we decided to just continue playing in the rain.... Oh - I love RAIN!!!

Monday, May 4, 2009


Very rarely do I have to wait for the train near my house while it goes by. But I was lucky this time that I did.

So I pulled up to the guards and stopped. Along comes the train.

And with it - a passenger.

He threw up the peace sign - a big grin - and was on his way again.

I smiled and waved.

He was wearing a 'wife-beater' and an island-ish looking beanie hat. He was definitely not a worker. I have always heard about people getting a 'free' ride on the train from place to place - but I have never actually seen anyone. That was GREAT!! Just made me laugh that I got to actually see someone in the act.

That almost makes me want to become a vagabond and hitch a ride on the next train to wherever.... It's a thought.