Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Sometimes the only advice that can be given is something you already know, but need to hear it from someone else. And sometimes it's not the things you want to hear, but need to hear it anyway.
Honestly - this advice could be used for any and almost all things in life. Whether it's deciding the job, where to live, who to marry, what to do - all you need to remember to do is:
Get a blessing
And then eventually you should get an answer. Or something.
Another amazingly good suggestion is to have a pros and cons list, qualifications list, wants vs needs list or any other list that compares the things you are conflicted about.
So right now I need to work on my pros/cons list. I have a qualification list, that will only get longer. But for the current dilemma, it's definitely a pros and cons needed kind of list.
The hardest part about it is staying unbiased and realistic. I tend to bring in the silly things that aren't needed or are unnecessary when I'm writing pros and cons. I need to remember the important stuff - the stuff that truly matters.
And I'm off to list and compare my life away...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
For instance - I was driving the other day and realized that all the trees and grass were becoming a beautiful green again. And not the same color green, but a variety of greens that all blended so nicely together.
Or how about the color of eyes. I have seen some amazing green eyes. Some have a little bit of blue - but the green is just so pretty.
There's green in candy, money, dirty water, clothes, jewels, etc. And although there are very many shades of green, I like them. I don't like some of them as much as others (not a huge fan of sage, unless with a pretty accent color).
I don't like to choose favorites of anything - I would end up changing my mind anyway. But I would have to say that green is one of the more liked than other colors.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Rash, heedless, incautious, negligent, imprudent.
I want to just take off and not think about it.
I would love to just quit, take some time off, visit friends, play with my family, and then find another job.
I want to just do something on a whim instead of thinking, analyzing, and over-thinking it again.
I want to make a decision that will change everything about my life - but not be so overly worried about whether it's good or bad.
I want to just do whatever comes to mind. Do whatever I feel like doing. Go wherever I feel like going.
Why does money have to be a factor in it? I know people that don't even think about it. They just live life and even though they are broke, they don't think about that and still do whatever/whenever they want. How can they? I don't have much debt - car, recent wisdom teeth removal, and that's pretty much it. So what am I so worried about?? I guess I just don't want to get in over my head....
Although sometimes it would be SO nice to not even think about it and just act, do, play and live with a bit of irrational, reckless behavior.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
You are logged onto facebook all day, hoping someone fun will get online to talk to.
You check and re-check your e-mail, hoping for something.
You go through blogs of every person you know, looking for an update.
You search random pictures online to put on your post.
You text stupid conversations, just to have someone to talk to.
You are almost counting the minutes until your day is over.
You almost start talking to yourself.
You think up choreography to the songs you listen to.
You don't really have anything to do, so you re-organize everything - again.
You dream of anything, everything else to do besides sit at your desk.
You relook at all your pictures online.
You look at apartments in major cities - just for the heck of it.
You wander around outside for a bit, only to come back in and still have nothing to do.
My job used to be busy and exciting. What happened? Oh - that's right, the Economy apparently sucks right now. BLAH!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Yet I still feel like my head is going to explode trying to decide.
Do I go, or not?
Will it be worth it?
I have other things to do with my time, do I do those, or this?
Will it be appreciated?
Does it matter if it's appreciated?
Do I want to do that, or the other thing?
Do I want to go there, or there?
What about while there?
What if it's not worth it?
What if it doesn't work out?
What the . . . . !!?!?? Who cares. Just do whatever.... But what of the "whatever" do I choose? Omigosh.... Can someone please just make my decisions for me?? I try, but for some reason just can't do it... And then when I hint to other people to make a decision, they just don't help me out!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Yes - had - meaning the past tense version of possession.
My hair was long, brunette, with a little bit of caramel highlights. It was easy, fun, and the longest it's been in years. It was thick, heavy, and there was definitely a lot of it.
I've always had fairly thick hair and even when it's short - there's a lot of it. But I love my hair. I usually always do.
This past weekend I went home. And usually when I'm home I get my hair colored. I just wanted some more highlights, more blondes in it. But for some reason - this time just didn't work out quite so well. There was highlights, but the blonde only worked really well on my roots - whereas the rest was more copper/gold color. Not really what I was looking for.
And on top of that, my hair felt so nappy and gross on the bottom 2-3 inches. I know it was really because I had just finished coloring it. But I decided to get it cut anyway. More of a trim really.
I looked up some idea, past hair cuts of my own, etc. We went to the hair cutting place (I don't go expensive) and looked at more ideas. I decided I wanted something shoulder length with layers. I sat down in the chair and the girl started talking about how long it was. And that really if we cut another inch off the length, it would be long enough to donate. And then we'd have to cut a little bit more off to make it all look good.
I thought - shoot! Only another inch? Okay - sure.
I'm still wondering if that was a mistake.
My hair is gone. My hair is blond-ish (which is fine). My hair is SHORT. I miss it.... And I wonder what possessed me to do such a thing.
Yes - it's just hair. But I was really liking my hair that long. And oh - it was long. Sad day....
But I guess I do have to admit that I am grateful to have hair and to have the ability to grow my hair out again. So - with that said, BRING ON THE VITAMINS! (They help hair grow faster, right!?!?)
(Clarification: I've had my hair this short before - it's just that the layers are a bit - maybe a lot - too short. If the back layers were longer, then I think it would not be so bad.)
Friday, May 8, 2009
Violators subject to imprisonment"
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Garth Brooks has a song called 'Face-to-Face' that I've always liked, but I don't really know why. And while listening to it yesterday I decided that it's all about coming face to face with your demons, the things you are afraid of, the things that make you want to run away in fear. But you can't run or hide from them - you have to face them.
And well.... as we all know - I definitely have some fears. I have things that I need to face head on. But I don't even know where to begin. It's all about decisions and making them... and I just have the hardest time with it. Right now I'm debating a few different options in my life - anyone one of which could be wrong, but they'd all bring about a drastic change. And I really need to just suck it up and make a freakin' decision. Face that fear. Tell myself that "I can grab a bull's balls" (watch 'Never Been Kissed' and you'll understand).
There's another song that I've always liked called "Suds in the Bucket" by Sarah Evans.
This song really just makes me want to drop everything and disappear. Write a note that says "Sorry, but I've got to go." It just gives me the desire to 'just up and run' and run away with life - I'd run away with a guy, if I had the option... ha!
Dove Promise of the day: The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.
In the past two years I have:
Lived in apt 272, 306, and A.
Been to Utah/Idaho at least 3 times.
I've been to a Wrangler Guest Ranch in Colorado (first time to Colorado).
I have been to King's Dominion about 2-3 times.
I have been white water rafting.
Colored my hair multiple times!
I have gone to the beach a few (ok - a lot of) times.
I have gone through 2 or 3 digital cameras.
I went on a weekend snowboarding trip.
I had my car break down and I was stuck in a city overnite.
I went to my first real concert - even if it was only on the lawn for Toby Keith.
I went to DC - a couple times.
I had a dog for about two weeks.
I went to Disneyworld - TWICE.
I have lived by myself, with a stranger, and with best friends.
I have bowled more times in 6 months than I have my whole life - I even had a 'bowling shirt' I would wear.
I have probably had more slumber parties than I did when I was a kid.
I drove across the country - spontaneously - with friends.
I have been places and done things I've never done before.
I saw friends marry, have babies, etc.
I have met so, so many new people - some of which have changed my life quite drastically.
I have grown up, changed, and had a lot of fun.
I have had a lot of first times for a lot of things. I have done some crazy things, had crazy adventures, but have had the time of my life!! I wish it could always be exciting, adventurous and wonderful. And sometimes I forget all the fun I've had, until I look back over the year and realize - it's been pretty busy. I need to make this year even better....
There's so many things that have happened and things I have done the past two years, but it just seems like it will never be enough. And I suppose that's okay... I'll always want to do and experience more - and that's what it's all about.