Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dreams - Will they ever go away?

I've had some pretty crazy dreams lately.
Luckily - one nite so far this week I don't remember the dreams I had. I know I had them, but I didn't wake up going "Omigosh. What was I dreaming!?!?" And that's a good thing.

There was a nite last week that I got a call from a good friend's sister saying so-n-so had died. At first I thought she said it was my friend. But then it was really their sister. It was heart-wrenching and I was crying. Turned out later in the dream that she had not died, but that she was going to die... Or something strange, because she never died, but just the thought was awful. Granted I'm not close with the sister, nor even the friend so much anymore, but it was still a TERRIBLE dream. I woke up wanting to call my friend to make sure his sister was okay....but I didn't.

Last nite I dreamt about an old crush. Now - this wasn't just any crush. This guy I had planned on marrying someday. I was 'in love' with him. He was awesome, his family was awesome, and I just knew we would get married when he got home from his mission. Shoot - I even moved to Utah so that we could date without the long distance (since long distance was what we had all through junior high/high school). But obviously, since I'm still VERY single, things didn't work out.... And maybe it was for the better because I'm not sure if marrying at 18/19 and living in Utah would've been good for me.
The dream was actually quite nice though. It was about him and the fact that he was back in my life. He just randomly showed up. Strange. Apparently he was no longer married and things were fun, light-hearted, and entertaining. I don't remember all the details. But I do remember that I was shy, flirty, and cute. Sort of the way I was once upon a LONG time ago.
The funny thing about the dream is that he was much more attractive than I remember him being...
And I mean, MUCH more....
It was him, in a sense, but it was someone totally different too. Maybe it's someone that I'll meet someday, or maybe it's just the good memories I have of the times he and I spent together. Or maybe it was just so I had a pleasant dream instead of a horrifying, heart-wrenching, emotionally traumatic dream - which is what I have more of than anything else....

Strange how dreams are. I wonder if my dreams really mean anything? I wonder if they are telling me something, or if it's just my over-active imagination working against me?? Psychology - one of my favorite subjects - tells me it would mean something. But do I really believe that? I'm not sure...
If they do mean something, then I can't imagine the bad dreams meaning anything good.
Oh heavens...

No comments: