Emotional

I watched the telethon tonite for Haiti. I almost called in - just to see what 'famous' person I might talk to. Although I wish I could give all the money in the world.
I watched the news all nite the first few nites of the earthquake. It was devastating and terrible.
It made me want to cry. Seeing it still makes me sad.
I want to go down there and with my able body help rebuild. Help move the rubble and clean up. I want to help watch and take care of the people. I want to take all the orphans into my arms and give them the love they so desperately need while they are scared and confused. I want to make their lives whole again, somehow. I want to help them start over. I want to work from morning until nite, until my body drops from exhaustion, sweating and straining and helping.
But all they want/need is my money. And I just don't have that. I wish I could win the lottery and pay for all kinds of medical supplies - but that's just not possible.
Take my energy, take my sweat, take my blood (literally - I think my type is a good one for anyone) because that's the only way I can really help.
I get overwhelmed, depressed and sick to think of it all.
Is that why most people tend to get so caught up in drama and stupid things of life - so they don't feel these things, so they don't have to care, so they don't have to worry about stuff they feel like they can never make better?? I feel like I'm that way sometimes.... It needs to stop being about me and start being about everyone else. People that need it, want it, and appreciate it.
My brothers are amazing - but sometimes they make me feel like a slug. My brother, who is on a mission in the Dominican Republic, felt the earthquake and had this to say:
". . . and yet I think for me the worst part is that I'm an hour and a half car ride away and I can't do anything about it to help. but why should I care. maybe i should be like the majority of the people in the country that i come from; change the channel, turn on the air conditioning, crack open another coke and bag of potato chips, and get sucked into the next episode of the latest drama series. besides, its hot in Haiti. why did they choose to live there anyways?"
Is that how I am? Sometimes I believe I truly am....
"Let us decide now what it is we really want to do with our lives."