I used to be a player.
I know that sounds odd. But there were plenty of times in my life when I was with one guy or more and we had our good times without any emotion being involved. I didn't have any problem with it. I enjoyed it. And - this is terrible - I usually didn't feel bad if the guy ended up liking me and I didn't feel the same.
Somehow, somewhere, I started to get emotions involved with things. What the hell?!?! I would much prefer spending time with these male friends, whether kissing is involved or not, and just enjoy it. Not worry about whether he cares about me, if I care about him, is it going to go somewhere, is it not, does it matter?
Yet - it does. Maybe not right away, but eventually things start to change. Sometimes for the better - but in my case it's usually for the worse. How do I change that? How do I go back to being care-free and not think about it?
Is it the age? Is it the fact that I don't want to be single forever? What changed? And how do I get back the carefree, thoughtless days of before??