Time with my boys

I suggested last week - out of nowhere - to take my nephews to Raleigh for a few days.

What was I thinking?!?!?

It turned out to be a lot of fun. We hit the road Thursday morning and it was a pretty good ride there.

Schedule as follows (nothing really planned):

Kids museum - pretty fun, hands on playing. We got to play on stage, grocery shop, play in the water, pretend we were in the ocean, dressed up as pirates, played in 'peas and carrots', played hockey and all kinds of stuff.

Then we had dinner, went to the park, and rented a couple movies. We watched one and didn't go to sleep until after. (Way too late.)

Friday: Beach time!! Stayed there for about 5 hours and played in the waves, sand, and had a great time with friends. On the way back, we took our ninja-army friend to get his car and got to see some cool military trucks. A tank, a missile launcher and a truck.

Pizza for dinner, played with the ninja-friend, and then watched a movie. (Again up way too late.)

Saturday: We actually slept in a little bit, which was great! Then we played around and made a mess, while packing kind of got done. We even learned some cool ninja tricks!!

Then off to the Natural History Museum, McDonald's, and back on the road.

It was a fun trip. I definitely learned that I would not want to be a single mother. I never would've been able to take them out into the waves and jump them with both children clinging to me. So thanks to the friends who came and helped!!

I also learned that children do things on their own time schedule, and don't understand the meaning of hurry. But I also learned that I love my nephews so much and having children of my own will only be that much better.... one day. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy any nieces and nephews I get!

Sometimes the grass is greener...

and sometimes it's just spray paint.

I try not to post blogs when I'm emotional, stressed, or have a lot on my mind because then it tends to come out in the post and is out there for all to see. And most of the time it's not something the world should know.

But recently I was let go from my job. Friday -29th- was my last day. I was with the company for 3+ years, which is the most I've ever worked for a company. It was great and I loved working with them. I actually stayed with the job for so long because I liked the company and how things were. Even though it's strange not having a job, and the job hunt isn't what I want to be doing, I am glad that I've been put into a situation where I have to make choices and changes.

Now decision making isn't my best ability - it actually scares the crap out of me - but this non-employment is actually forcing me to figure out the next step. And while I'm trying to figure out what that is, I've been looking at all options.
I'm young, I'm single, and I've got experience with things that could land me a good job. Or I could go back to school. Or I could do both. I could go anywhere and do anything. That's the hard part.

So now I have to decide if it's the grass I have here that I want, or the grass over there that I want.....?

Advice that goes with everything

I was talking to some friends the other nite - and they were giving me advice. They said it's the only thing they could suggest and it may not be something I'd want to hear. But the funny thing is - I would've said the same thing if someone had been talking to me about it.
Sometimes the only advice that can be given is something you already know, but need to hear it from someone else. And sometimes it's not the things you want to hear, but need to hear it anyway.
Honestly - this advice could be used for any and almost all things in life. Whether it's deciding the job, where to live, who to marry, what to do - all you need to remember to do is:

Pray
Fast
Read scriptures
Get a blessing

And then eventually you should get an answer. Or something.

Another amazingly good suggestion is to have a pros and cons list, qualifications list, wants vs needs list or any other list that compares the things you are conflicted about.
So right now I need to work on my pros/cons list. I have a qualification list, that will only get longer. But for the current dilemma, it's definitely a pros and cons needed kind of list.
The hardest part about it is staying unbiased and realistic. I tend to bring in the silly things that aren't needed or are unnecessary when I'm writing pros and cons. I need to remember the important stuff - the stuff that truly matters.
And I'm off to list and compare my life away...

Water is Life

For some reason there's something about the waves, the sand, the sun, and the smell of that island sunscreen that just makes me happy. It makes me smile and relax.

I have always wanted to live on the beach. I love that I live close enough to take a day trip. I wouldn't mind living closer, but it tends to get pricey on living situations.

This weekend I also realized that I enjoy lakes as well. I wasn't at a lake, but I thought about times I was. I like being able to swim, dive, and be in the calm water playing around. Lakes usually have trees and other pretty surroundings. It's easier to swim and dive in a lake.

But oceans are exciting. They have more to offer, you always have to be ready for the next wave, and it's beautiful!

The question is: Do I live near the beach, or near the lakes? Which one do I like more?

(I really need to try smiling more in pictures.)

One Week Ago

Sometimes weeks go by without much changing or happening. Then there are those weeks that seem as though they'll never end. And there are other weeks that seem like 2-3 weeks in one.

This picture was taken exactly one week ago tonite.

This has been one of those weeks.

Part of it was because of the weekend and all the craziness that went on.

Part of it was because of this week and all the craziness that went on.

And part of it is just because you never know what's going to happen.

Expect the worse is a good thing to live by - then when the worst doesn't happen, you are that much happier about things.

Things are going to change. It's inevitable. But I like to be in control of that change. When I'm not, I tend to lose control of everything.

First one things changes - and I can handle that.

Then another thing changes - okay...

Then things change that are much more drastic and much closer to home - now what do I do?

I can't just hold my breath and hope for it to go away. I can't just forget about it and it will have never happened. I can't just smile and make it disappear. I have to face it, deal with it, and figure out a solution.

DANG!

Along with a solution comes some decision making I must do.... Man!!

And to think that last week I didn't quite have this kind of solution/decision to deal with - can we go back to last week??

The Color Green

I have recently decided that I really like the color green. It's the color of many things - and it's a great color.
For instance - I was driving the other day and realized that all the trees and grass were becoming a beautiful green again. And not the same color green, but a variety of greens that all blended so nicely together.
Or how about the color of eyes. I have seen some amazing green eyes. Some have a little bit of blue - but the green is just so pretty.
There's green in candy, money, dirty water, clothes, jewels, etc. And although there are very many shades of green, I like them. I don't like some of them as much as others (not a huge fan of sage, unless with a pretty accent color).
I don't like to choose favorites of anything - I would end up changing my mind anyway. But I would have to say that green is one of the more liked than other colors.

Recklessness

I want to be reckless.
Rash, heedless, incautious, negligent, imprudent.

I want to just take off and not think about it.
I would love to just quit, take some time off, visit friends, play with my family, and then find another job.
I want to just do something on a whim instead of thinking, analyzing, and over-thinking it again.
I want to make a decision that will change everything about my life - but not be so overly worried about whether it's good or bad.

I want to just do whatever comes to mind. Do whatever I feel like doing. Go wherever I feel like going.
Why does money have to be a factor in it? I know people that don't even think about it. They just live life and even though they are broke, they don't think about that and still do whatever/whenever they want. How can they? I don't have much debt - car, recent wisdom teeth removal, and that's pretty much it. So what am I so worried about?? I guess I just don't want to get in over my head....

Although sometimes it would be SO nice to not even think about it and just act, do, play and live with a bit of irrational, reckless behavior.