Not that my siblings read this

But I want them to know that I have something I admire in each and every one of them.
I wasn't just favoring Dave - although he is the one I am most jealous of.
I am also jealous of other things of each and every one of my siblings. They each have something that I would like to be able to do, to try, to experience.
I am not close with my siblings, and I don't try so it's just as much my fault. But I do love each of them very very much. I enjoy different things about them.

Kristie - being the oldest, she didn't have anyone's footsteps to follow. But she made her own trail and her own life. She has lived many places, traveled to others. She is strong in what she believes and wants in life. She is amazing and has two amazing little guys who are absolutely adorable. She is also my confidante most times. And she's also very friendly and outgoing. She's an amazing hostess and a person who's always been there for others. She also has some serious patience with the rest of us siblings.


Jon is a mountain man and apparently so amazing he can hover in mid-air. I've always been envious of his 'no fear' personality. He just goes and does it. He has climbed many of mountains, explored many of caves, and has done some pretty outlandish but awesome adventures. He has been to different places in the world - perhaps unvoluntarily - and seen some cool stuff. Jon can be hard to talk to, but he at least is strong in his beliefs and is not afraid to argue his point or to state his meaning. (Sometimes that can be a bit hard, but it's Jon and I love him regardless.)


Brian is great! He's got that 'do what I want' personality - it conflicts with mom - but it's still great and something I wish I could do. Brian has also done some crazy things. He get along with everyone and always seems to have a good time. He doesn't start arguements (except maybe with Ben) and only sometimes does he seem to get really riled up with anyone. He doesn't need anyone to be there - he just goes and does his thing (Florida trip, nites on the town, etc). Brian also sticks to his guns about his chosen lifestyle - even when everyone seems to tell him he's crazy. (Go Vegetarianism.) He's a pretty chill kind of person who is just around to do what he wants, but enjoy life and make the best of it.


Ben is completely different from everyone else. Ben is intelligent and although the baby, he still sticks to what he knows. He is a great worker and is patient. He really knows what he wants in life and is working for it every day. Ben is a great example to the rest of us siblings and all his friends. Ben was willing to take a dance lesson with me one nite, even though we didn't know anyone there. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad he came. He also was willing to go to a concert with me even when he didn't like the group just because I didn't want to go alone. Ben is willing to try new things and be different. He has his own interests but also shares some of the same with the rest of us and it makes it a lot of fun. He is a great guy, a gentleman and I know that everyone enjoys having him around.

So I love my family. They are amazing. We are all so different but we are all one. I want to try to take all the good things from each of us and incorporate them into my life as well. To make myself just as great as them.
I love you guys!!!

My Goal/Inspiration

My brother is my inspiration. He is amazing. Dave has done so many things in his life, traveled so many places. I wish I could do that. I've always wished that, but for some reason I don't seem to do anything to make it happen.
Dave graduated from high school a year early. And got his bachelor's before he left on his mission. I attempted - but only got a semester early, which really it only gave me more time to play and waste money.
Dave went on a mission for the church to Chile. And then he's gone back to visit multiple times.
Dave joined the Peace Corp and went to Africa to help.
I have wanted to be able to go to another country, or even our country, and help those who just need some teaching to make their life better and easier.
Dave has gotten his masters and is currently working on his PHD. I have not even received my associates.
Dave is currently in Africa again visiting/helping. He's been there a few weeks. He then leaves again for Honduras for another adventure.
I have not even been out of the country once.
I'm not trying to compare myself to my brother. There's no way. We are so different. But I am comparing the fact that there are so many things I've wanted to do with my life and have yet to do so. Look at what Dave has done and experienced before he's 30! I am still young, or people keep telling me. So why don't I do this now? Why don't I make things happen? What am I afraid of?
I don't think I want to go to all the same places as Dave. But there are definitely a lot of places that I would like to visit.
Australia
Brazil
Jamaica
Africa
India
Egypt
Etc
And I want to do amazing things. I want to be help in natural disasters. I want to go and show people how to have good hygiene. How to take care of children. How to keep a clean house. There are some things I want to do that can be done in the US. But apparently I'm just too lazy to actually find the opportunities and make them happen.
And that has got to change.
I can't just keep living my life in the "I want to do this, I want to do that" but not actually doing any of it. I have nothing holding me back. Yeah - there are some things I would have to change if I wanted to make other things happen. I would not be able to spend my money constantly. Traveling is expensive. I need to put things into perspective. I think I need certain things, but then I remember that I'm actually very blessed and can do without all the niceties that I think I 'need.' It goes back to that saying, "Break it in, use it out. Make do, or do without." I might have that wrong, but you get the idea.
I need to start making things happen. I need to not let myself slack and be lazy. I need to constantly be on the go. I need to be productive.
I don't want to look back at my life after I'm older and realize that I didn't do any of the things that I kept wanting to do. I don't want to look back and regret not taking chances, making mistakes and enjoying life. I need to start doing something...

Funny Cravings

Last nite I went to FHE where we had a Memorial Day cook out and then a lesson. It was pretty enjoyable. Got to talk to people I don't usually talk to and eat some tasty food. I would've stayed for games, but I barely felt like being social as it was.
On the way home, Cassie and I thought that Cook-Out milkshakes sounded really good. And honestly - we couldn't get them off our minds. Just the thought made our mouths water.
We sat around the apartment for awhile chit-chatting. There were some friends that were supposed to stop by. Krista suggested that we get smoothies instead cuz at least they were healthy. We asked and found out that Planet Smoothie isn't very far from the apartment. Needless to say - we were out the door in less than five minutes.
From the moment Krista suggested it, I was craving a smoothie. Oh - it sounded SO GOOD!!
We drove toward Planet Smoothie, but with no such luck. The place was closed. It almost looked closed for good, not just closed for the nite. But I guess we'll have to check back another day to see if that's true.
So - sadly we went off to Cook-Out for some milkshakes. Oddly, we were craving milkshakes so bad, but then our craving switched to smoothies and it just wouldn't switch back again. At least not for me.
Oh - the milkshake was good, but the smoothie still sounds so delicious.... I guess I'd best try to find one soon or I will go crazy!

Good thing not all dreams come true or I would think this odd craving situation was because I'm pregnant... Yes. I dreamed I was pregnant last week. I must've eaten something bad before I went to bed because we all know THAT dream won't be coming true anytime soon!!

And the beaching begins...

I have already been to the beach a couple times this year... but this weekend will be the first big trip of the summer!!
We are going tonite and coming home sometime Sunday evening.
I am SO EXCITED. I love being close enough to the beach to go for a day, or for the weekend.
Oceans are wonderful and since it's starting to get warmer out, the water will actually be tolerable. I've heard it's much warmer than the west coast - but I wouldn't actually know. Someday I'll compare the two, but not this weekend. This weekend is all about the east coast!!
We are going to Morehead City, NC for a Single Adult conference. The dinner and luau (performed by good friends of the family) and dance is tonite. Then tomorrow they have some speakers and such. Whether we wake up in time for the meetings tomorrow has yet to be determined. But we will be going tonite. And hopefully we can meet some fun, single guys (and girls for those males joining us) to play on the beach with us all day on Saturday!!
Either way, it's going to be a great, relaxing time on the beach. YAY for the summer beach trips.

No Good, Very Bad Day

I'll admit that I've had worse, but I've definitely had better days . . .

I got Taco Bell for lunch - which I realized as I placed the order, that a REALLY good smoothie place was just right close by. I should've gone there, but I was already pulling up to the window. And THEN they took awhile...

I got my usual soft tacos - but the first one wasn't that great. The second one was worse (I get the combo which gives you three). It started leaking on my hand so I threw it back in the bag. I figured I'd eat the third when I got back to work.

Got to work - was carrying plans for a new job. Set them down - dropped my Mtn Dew, which was almost full. And not only did it spill all of it - but it spilled it all on the stack of Culligan water containers we have. They were all full too... So I spent some time cleaning up my drink, and threw the 3rd taco away. Wasn't going to attempt it....

Man - I should've went with the smoothie...

Plus I found out I did a bunch of invoicing wrong. Ugh!! Could this day get worse?? Probably, but let's not let it!! Please?!?!?!!!

I hurt....

Today is one of those incredibly restless days.

I can't concentrate on work, although I have a list of things to do.
I hurt all over from the first couple days of working out (never the best days).
I have so many things on my mind to get accomplished, to find out, to . . . everything!!
It's a might bit frustrating of a day... and I don't know why. It's just beginning....

I need a massage...

And I definitely need some answers.

But mostly I want to stop hurting.....

Nothing like working in the ghetto . . .

Today as I was walking to my car at lunch, I happened to see a strange colored thing in my path....

You know you work in the ghetto when you see an apparently used rubber laying in the gutter.

I thought about taking a picture to prove it to everyone, but it was pretty disgusting.

Oh - and there's nothing like showing your love to someone than taking them to an old, boarded up, roach poop infested apartment to do it . . .

Yeah - my boss and I found a used one while going through one of the units. There's something seriously wrong with people.

I need to pull a Maggie Carpenter. . . .

Or for those of you who have not seen "Runaway Bride" - I need to make some decisions about myself.

Do I like my eggs poached, scrambled, benedict, or not at all?

Would I rather have my honeymoon on some mountain sharing my nuptial with a sherpa and a yak?
Or would I rather go to the beach, have someone cover my eyes while I walk, just to feel the way the sand goes between my toes?

Honestly - I know which of the two honeymoon options I would rather do. But what foods do I really like? What places would I really like to travel to?
I know I say anywhere, but what places really interest me??

What do I really want to do with my life? What music do I like to listen to?

All silly things, but all things that make up who I am.
I need an adventure. I need to travel and go places.
I know that's part of who I am.

But I need to know what really makes up me. What makes me who I am? What makes me do the things I do? What am I made up of?

I have to know myself before I can expect anyone else to know me.
I have to know who I am before I can really get close to anyone else.

Moved in - Just to move out Again

I've moved recently - and as of last nite, I finally have everything away (with the exception of one box of food) and decorated.
I'm not really sure why I made sure everything was decorated. I think it's because that's the easiest way to store it all. Not everything can fit under the bed. It will also make things work better for the next couple months.

And that's just the thing - I moved all this stuff and I'm only going to be in the apartment for a couple months. Was it worth it? I don't know. I'm supposed to be saving a lot of money by doing this. Let's hope it works!!

But here I am, looking for apartments again. I have to be out of this one by the 31st of July. And since I'm going out west for a Family Reunion and such from July 13th-20th, I guess I'd better find a place before I leave. The weekend I get back, I've got to be moving everything out again.

I like the idea of packing things up. I like unpacking and I like re-decorating and organizing. I definitely do NOT like moving big heavy boxes and furniture though. I do NOT like sweating hard all day long by myself. I do NOT like going up three flights of stairs with my arms full of boxes while everyone else is sitting inside an AC living room chit-chatting about nothing important. But I do like change and I do like variety.

I definitely think my next place will be a year lease though. Or at least 6 months, and then perhaps sign the lease again. Month-to-month is not really a good idea, it's too expensive.

I also haven't decide yet if I want a room-mate or not. It's definitely cheaper when you're sharing the rent. But I really like the idea of living by myself still. I have given myself until mid-June to decide. I may like living with people. But then I have to figure out who to live with, in a house, in an apartment? One room-mate, or two, or more??

I may decide I like my sanity rather than having a cheaper place to live. But then again - if I find the right layout of an apartment, I might prefer a room-mate. I just don't know. Guess I'll have to just keep searching and find out.

Ask me again in about Mid-June whether I want room-mates or not. :-)

Summer

I have decided that this summer is going to be Ah-MAZING!!
Not only do I have some great friends who share the same ideas I have (concerts, beach trips, etc) but I also have the capability to do all such things. I am centrally located enough to be able to go places to see these great places.
Gas is incredibly expensive now, but whatever. It's still going to be a great summer!

I have never been to a concert. You can NOT count the '3 Doors Down' one at the fair, because that was hardly a 'concert'. So I'm going to go to a REAL concert, and SOON!

Sadly, I've missed a lot of opportunities because I've not had anyone that would join me at the concerts I've really wanted to go to. But now I think I'll go even if no one will go with me. I want to go and why should I miss out if people are dumb??

I very much like - strangely enough - 'Nickelback'. I will admit that I don't know all of their music, nor do I know anything about the individuals in the group. But I do like to listen to their songs that I have. They seem to have a story in each. Some of them are good, some of them not so good. But they have a point. It's not always about stupid drama this, or sexual stuff that, somebody's baby's mama or some other silly nonsense. It's actual stories or situations... I like it a lot.

Anyway - Nickelback is one of those groups that I've missed the opportunity to go see. So I thought that this summer I could go see them, as long as they are within driving distance. But much to my dismay - the only tour dates they have are in September . . . in Germany and England.
So much for that idea! I'm not desperate enough to see them to travel all the way to Germany or England. I would travel there, but not just to see someone in concert.

It looks as though I'll have to try some different ideas. Some different places, people, and ideas. There are plenty of fun things I want to do this summer. Some cheap, some not so cheap. Guess I'd better decide which I want to do more...

Stupid gas prices going up! If not for that, I would be gone every weekend doing something exciting. Oh well - guess I'll work with what I've got closer. Which is LOTS of things...

Freezing weather

It's actually been incredibly gorgeous weather lately - outside that is. For some reason I always get stuck in offices that are freezing cold.
Yesterday was nice outside, but not all that hot. I had forgotten my jacket - which I usually bring to work with me - so I tried to keep the thermostat a little higher. My boss came in and turned it down to 66. They left, I turned it up to 70. They came back in and he complained it was warm. I said that, "I turned it up. I'm freezing and sit right under the vent. Usually I bring a jacket and don't complain, but I forgot it today. Sorry. I'll turn it down again."

This morning I remembered my jacket - good thing!! But when I walked in, I saw this great contraption set up. . . .
Now - it might look a bit strange, but the idea is great! It's supposed to keep the cold air from blowing directly onto me... I still haven't noticed that it works. I think it really just makes the breeze blow over the sides of the shield. But it was the idea and the idea was sweet. I'm glad they thought of me.
But I'll still bring my jacket everyday, just in case!!

Living Alone

I went from living alone, to living with someone, to living alone.
But since my room-mate moved out, I've been busy with people, places and never really have nites to myself.

Especially lately. I've been either going somewhere, have someone over, or am on a trip somewhere. It's been fun and I've VERY much enjoyed it.

Last nite I was home by myself, with not a whole lot to do. It was so nice. I went shopping after work, rented a movie, packed a little bit, and then sat down to watch the movie. It was great. Like old times... And I definitely recommend 'August Rush' to everyone. It was a GREAT movie. I teared up, but maybe I'm just emotional...?

I will not be living alone for much longer - only a few days really. I'm looking forward to this summer and the fun I'll have with room-mates, but it will definitely help me decide whether I want to live alone or with people. I really like living alone, but perhaps having room-mates wouldn't be so bad. It would definitely be cheaper... but is it worth my sanity? I guess we'll find out in the next couple of months.

I'll just enjoy the next day or two that I have to sit at home by myself.... Most of the next few days have something going on so it won't be much or by myself. But I'll enjoy them all anyway.

Absolutely Sick

Incest

Absolutely Disgusting. It makes me want to lose my breakfast...
How can someone do such a thing? What goes through their mind?

What is going to happen to those children? Think of the therapy they are going to need. They are going to need some serious help. How do you explain that your father is also your grandfather, without it being terribly wrong?? You DON'T!!

I cannot understand what went through the head of this guy.
So, SO wrong!!

Does a Genius have common sense?

After reading this article about Japan being the highest in suicide rates, it makes me wonder if those with a genius mind have any common sense....
Now - these specific people may or may not have had the genius gene, but they are still from the country that is noticeably higher in intelligence than our own country.
And I know that the suicide rates in our country are definitely not low - so to have Japan higher.... wow. That's way, way too many people dying.